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Clown
=HONK= Congratulations, you are the clown. You are the generic mascot of /vg/station, and through valor and glory may earn the prestige of those who came before you. You will earn the prestige of those such as Shoe Snatchin' Willy, Mister Honks the Serial Killer Clown, and Blackie the Clown. You have opted to choose quite possibly the hardest job on the station in the hopes of comedy. In reality, you will most likely be running for your life trying to avoid the fucker with an axe, Hitler, Comdom, and the Zerg Swarm. You have no friends. The station is out to kill you. Your job is to make sure they cannot kill you, and be hilarious at the same time. Tools of the Trade Clowncart You also have your own cart, called the clowncart. You'll need a lot of cooperation from miners, botanists and the chef to use it to its fullest extent, as it requires banana juice to move around, bananium sheets for upgrades and bananium coins for the real fun to begin. By default the cart consumes 1 unit of banana juice when moving. One bananium sheet allows recharging your water flower from the cart, five bananium sheets allow the cart to move without consuming fuel. As a bonus, each sheet will also increase the cart's health. Insert bananium coins in the clowncart to cycle modes forward. They are as follows: * Default mode. Nothing interesting. * Draw mode. Using a crayon on the clowncart will allow you to select what you want to draw, using stamps will change colour. Allows painting any room pink and printing out a big 'captain a condom' in front of the bridge in a matter of seconds. Possible options for drawing are: 'paint', 'rune', 'graffiti', 'nothing'. Drawing consumes 2 units of banana juice. * Banana mode. Makes you valid salad. Spawns banana peels under the cart as it moves. Using emag on the cart will reduce fuel consumption and make it spawn extra slippery peels. Consumes 4 units of banana juice when moving (2 if emagged). Beloved, humorous ideas passed down from Clown generation to Clown generation. An expanded list of hilarious annoying shit you can do if you're completely uninspired. *Spacing Pun-Pun. *Space Lubing the main hallway. *Stealing the Janitors mop cart. *Stealing the Janitors ride. *Putting sodium/potassium in the Janitors mop bucket. *Parading around the station with the nuke in celebration. *Slipping Nuke-Ops. *Becoming clown-captain. *Growing bees in the dormitory and unwittingly releasing them onto the station. *Breaking into Cargo and spending all their points on costume crates. *Stripping the Head of Security and tossing them into the bar to be fed to the greytide. *Creating an endless pipe circuit going through the entire station. Bonus points if you throw changelings, Nuke Ops, confirmed cultists, and other antags into it. Captain may even give you a medal for doing so! *Performing ghetto sex change operations in dormitory maintenance. *Buckling people to chairs beneath the bathroom showerhead, when water is switched to cold (use a wrench to toggle this!) *Honking profusely. *Replacing all the fire extinguishers water supply with welder fuel. *Replacing all the emergency air tanks air supply with Nitrous Oxide. *Gathering enough Bananium to build a HONKER. *Break open a virus crate and release Pierrot's Throat across the station.